


Maternal instincts

by theWholeShebang



Series: Lost and found [1]
Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: F/F, Kidfic, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Prostitution, daughter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 13:14:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19063420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theWholeShebang/pseuds/theWholeShebang
Summary: Debbie did not think she had a maternal bone in her body, until she laid eyes on her daughter and her instincts kicked in.Lou opened her heart up to Debbie and she thought it was the scariest thing on earth, but that was before she met her daughterThe story how Lou and Debbie found their daughter and how they handle parenthood.





	1. Uno

**Author's Note:**

> This is different than my other story and Lou and Debbie have other background stories, but I hope you guys like it. This one, I already have kind of plotted out, it is not going to be too long. Hope you guys like it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The poker guy went over 21, losing the round and left the game. His arm around the waitress' lower back, guiding them towards some backroom. Debbie watched them go, it was not the first time she saw a prostitute in a casino, yet the scene made her uncomfortable.  
> Lou was slurring her words by now, even though most of the scotch had disappeared in the plant next to the table. Debbie softly tapped Lou's ankle, signaling that it was time.

It had been over a year and a half since Debbie and her team had robbed the Met gala. She and Lou had been enjoying their lives in luxury for 18 months now. At first, they had busied themselves with each other, reconnecting after six years of Debbie's absence. After that they had entertained themselves with fixing up Lou's loft, making sure it was a home, not only to them but to the rest of their team as well.  
But an Ocean could only stay on the straight and narrow for so long, so it was at this cold and windy October night that Debbie and Lou found themselves in an underground casino. Debbie had planned this night in the smallest detail, so she felt oddly calm now. She glanced at Lou who appeared calm as well. Debbie felt the corners of her mouth tug up, she was excited to be back in the game, she had missed the thrill. Tonight was hardly about the money, they did not need it. Not even Debbie's love for shiny things could make a dent in the enormous pile of money they had. But it was a slouchy place and Debbie was totally okay with ripping these people off.  
A very young waitress in a very short dress walked up to them, holding a tray of champagne, with a smile she offered Debbie and Lou a glass. Debbie managed to return the smile, but her face clouded with worry when she watched the girl retreat.

'Is she even old enough to serve alcohol?', she wondered softly to Lou.

Lou shrugged, looking around the place. 'Doubt anything about this place is legal.'  
Debbie followed her gaze, watching how three men at the poker table were now laughing with the waitress, one of their hands had already found the girl's backside. The girl giggled at something the man said.

'Debbie?', Lou softly touched her hand to gain her attention. 'You ready?'  
Debbie teared her eyes away from the waitress and nodded.  
There were only two tables to play at, one blackjack and one poker.

'What you in the mood for tonight, babe?', asked Debbie, because it did not really matter, the real heist would start later.

Lou grabbed her hand and led her to the blackjack table.  
'I'm not in the mood for those three assholes', explained her girlfriend, nodding towards the poker table.

They settled at the table, sitting close. Debbie draped her arm around Lou, ready to play her part as the over-affectionate girlfriend. Lou put her poker chips on the table and smiled at the croupier. He did not smile back but that was hardly surprising. This place was without camera's - one of the main reasons they picked it- but to ensure that the casino did not have any trouble they put the toughest guys at the table. The two croupiers and the guy at the check-out all looked rogue. Only the semi-handsome guy behind the bar and the waitress stood out.  
Lou placed her bets, motioning with her other hand to the waitress. The waitress seemed relieve to be able to leave the three rowdy men and walked over to the blackjack table. Debbie ordered a scotch for Lou and a fancy cocktail for herself, figuring that the cocktail would take a while. All the time the waitress would be waiting, she would be away from the men groping at her. She did not know why she felt so uncomfortable about the waitress. Underneath the layers of make-up the girl just seemed so young.  
Debbie was distracted by the waitress until she felt Lou's hand on her thigh. They had a job to do. She looked up to the blonde next to her, who was currently in a ginger wig and nuzzled her neck. Lou took her winnings with a smug grin and raised again. She raised a little reckless, but it did not matter. The game was not their main attraction of the night, they would empty the safe later. The more money Lou was losing, the lesser of a threat she was to the casino. They just needed to seem harmless and not rouse the suspicion of the casino until Lou would stumble to the toilet, supposedly drunk and empty the safe.

Seven scotches later, it was almost show time. Lou and Debbie were both playing now, and one of the three poker guys was also at their table, the waitress draped over his lap, whispering something in his ear. The waitress had brought the bottle of scotch after Lou had ordered her fifth, telling them that the bottle was theirs. Lou had lost a grand by then to the casino, so Debbie figured they were worth the bottle.  
The poker guy went over 21, losing the round and left the game. His arm around the waitress' lower back, guiding them towards some backroom. Debbie watched them go, it was not the first time she saw a prostitute in a casino, yet the scene made her uncomfortable.  
Lou was slurring her words by now, even though most of the scotch had disappeared in the plant next to the table. Debbie softly tapped Lou's ankle, signaling that it was time. Lou stood up, grabbed the table, unstable and mumbled something about the bathroom. With wobbly knees she stumbled towards the back.

Debbie chuckled awkwardly, sending an apologetic look to the rest of the table.  
'Suppose she drank too much on an empty stomach', she explained. She figured she should play a few more rounds, giving Lou time to empty the safe.  
Her heart was beating in her chest now, but the rush was so familiar it somehow felt comforting to Debbie. Outwardly appearing calm, she played three more rounds before she stood up.

'Better look how the wife is doing', she grinned, walking away. She left their chips on the table, making it seem like she would come back.

Lou was actually already waiting for her in the back corridor, a bag slung over her shoulder.  
Debbie raised her eyebrows impressed and picked up her pace.

'That was quick', she said, jogging over to Lou. Lou smugly tossed back her long red hair.

'Ready for a run?', she asked. They had studied the blueprints of this joint and they knew that if they would go down this corridor they would end up on the roof. They would have to run to the end of the roof and then they could use the fire stairs, after that it was only a short distance to their car.  
They did not run through the corridor because that would make too much noise, they just kept a steady pace. One of the doors they passed was ajar, Debbie looked in and made a decision on the whim. She touched Lou's back to signal her to stop. Lou turned around and Debbie softly pushed open the door.  
The waitress was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her dress was on the ground, she was only wearing her underwear and some fishnet stockings. The sounds of a shower could be heard behind another door. Debbie motioned for her to be quiet, but the girl was frozen on the bed anyway.

'Lou, grab the girl', she whispered softly. Lou gave her a questioning look but complied anyway, because they had yet to reach the day when Lou did not follow Debbie blindly. Debbie meanwhile, was quietly wedging the chair underneath the door handle, trapping the man in the shower.  
Lou grabbed the waitress' arm firmly and pulled her after her. The girl complied without a fight. Lou ran through the corridor now, dragging the girl behind her, Debbie followed closely, feeling very nervous now. She barely understood her own actions. She never adjusted her plans.

Lou stood in front of the door, looking anxiously at Debbie over the top of the girl's head. They were actually not sure if opening the door would set off an alarm. The two of them would make it back to their car either way but with the extra complication of the girl it would be much better if the door would just open silently.  
No such luck however, when Lou pushed the door open, a shrieking sound pierced through the night. Lou did not hesitate and picked up the girl and carried her outside. Next to Lou the waitress seemed so small.  
They ran across the roof, still no sign of people following them. Even though Lou was carrying the money bag and dragging the girl behind her, Debbie still had trouble keeping up with her. Lou was already down the fire escape, when Debbie sprained her ankle. It was painful, but Debbie had had worse and with a determined grunt she followed Lou down the stairs.  
Lou went around the corner, Debbie limping behind her. Lou barely looked at her, but hastily pulled open the back doors of the car, threw the bag in and then pushed in the girl. She was already behind the wheel around the time Debbie hoisted herself in the backseat, next to the girl.  
Debbie let out a sigh of relieve as their car finally sped away.


	2. Dos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the bright bedroom light, Lou could see what Debbie had sensed all along. This girl was really young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kudos and comments, they made my week! I hope I can live up to the expectations :)  
> I feel like I should give a little warning for the next two chapters, they are going to be a bit dark, but things will get better.

It took a few tense silent minutes before they reached the high way. Lou glanced in the mirror.

'We're not being followed', she announced to Debbie in the backseat. 'You ok?'

'Sprained my ankle, but I'll live', replied Debbie, still a little out of breath, ripping her blond itchy wig off and letting her own hair fall down.

She was very aware of the big brown eyes watching her. She looked at the girl next to her, deciding that she was indeed just a girl. Because of the layers of make-up it was hard to guess her age, but Debbie was pretty sure she could not be older than eighteen.  
The girl was observing her with her big brown eyes, sometimes glancing at Lou. Debbie could not quite make out the emotion on her face, she seemed pretty passive. Debbie suspected that she had some drugs in her system, the girl had barely reacted when they practically kidnapped her. And yet there was an intelligent glimmer in her eyes.  
She looked at the shivering girl, seeing some nasty bruises on her body, and realized that she must be quite cold after their trip through the cold October night. She grabbed her coat from the floor and offered it to the girl.  
The girl flinched ever so slightly, and Debbie felt a twinge in her guts. Her heart ached for this girl in a way she could not explain. Debbie laid her coat next to the girl and smiled softly, encouraging the girl to take it.  
Eyes never leaving hers, the girl stuck out a trembling hand and grabbed the coat, covering herself with it. She was pretty small, so the coat covered most of her. Debbie also noticed that Lou turned on the car heating to the max.

Debbie smiled softly at the girl, trying to establish some trust between them. There were a million question she wanted to ask, but she settled on just one.

'Do you have a name, sweetie?', she asked, the endearment slipping without her even noticing. Big brown eyes looked at her, but the girl remained silent.

'I'm Debbie', started Debbie, because it seemed fair that the girl was not sharing anything with strangers. 'Debbie Ocean.'  
Lou shot her a quick questioning glance over her shoulder, surprised by Debbie giving her real name. Was that wise? Debbie ignored Lou and continued. 'Over there is Lou. Lou Miller. She is my girlfriend.'  
The brown eyes slowly glanced up to the driver, quickly darted back to Debbie and then rested on her lap.  
Debbie let out a defeated sound, she was barely sure if the girl even understood English. She seemed to speak it well enough when she was waiting on them earlier.  
It was a full minute before the voice interrupted the silence.

'Ximena', said the girl.

Debbie looked at the girl and nodded. 'Just Ximena?', she asked, trying to coax a last name out of the girl. The girl did not say anything else though and just raised her chin a little stubbornly as if challenging Debbie.

When they entered the loft, Debbie let herself fall down on a kitchen chair immediately. She let out a hiss of pain. Lou shot her a worried look but was quickly distracted by the half-naked girl standing unsurely in the doorway. Lou gently guided Ximena into the house.

'Why don't you go upstairs and find Ximena some clothes?', offered Debbie, looking at the girl in her underwear and fishnet stockings.  
Lou was confused by tonight's events and Debbie's behavior but complied nonetheless. She took of her red wig and threw it in a corner and guided Ximena up the stairs with a hand on her back.

When she reached her and Debbie's bedroom, she walked towards their walk-in closet. She tried to find something for the girl but she and Debbie were both pretty tall, so everything would be too big. She was just pulling out an old pair of sweatpants when she heard rustling behind her.  
She turned around and stood suddenly very close to Ximena, who had walked up to her. In the bright bedroom light, Lou could see what Debbie had sensed all along. This girl was really young.

'How old are you?', she blurted out before she even knew it.

Ximena's brows furrowed slightly. 'Eighteen', she replied without missing a breath.

Lou knew that was bullshit, this girl looked more fourteen or fifteen. She surprised Lou by grabbing her blouse and with trembling fingers started working on the buttons of the white shirt, she was wearing underneath her pink pantsuit.

'What are you doing?', exclaimed Lou surprised, grabbing Ximena by the wrists to stop her movements.

Ximena's eyes became wide. 'Don't hurt me', she said hoarsely. She nuzzled Lou's neck. 'I'm gonna be good.'

She slowly started kissing Lou's neck. Lou felt bile rise in her throat, when she caught on to what Ximena was doing.

'Stop', she said softly, gently pushing Ximena away while also stepping back, putting some distance between them.  
Ximena looked genuinely scared now for the first time. Her eyes darted between Lou and the door. Lou did not entirely understand why her stopping the girl from forcing herself on her was somehow the most scary thing for Ximena. Lou desperately wanted Debbie with them, to help her handle this situation.  
She handed Ximena the sweatpants and pulled out a sweater as well and pointed to their en-suite bathroom.

'You can change in there and there is also stuff to wash your face', she offered the young girl.  
Ximena disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Lou alone in the bedroom. Lou took a deep breath, trying to ease the feeling in her stomach. What was Debbie's plan?

Less than five minutes later Lou and Ximena made their way down the stairs towards Debbie. Lou could see the surprise she felt a minute earlier when Debbie saw Ximena's face without make-up. The sadness she saw in Debbie's eyes reflected the feeling she had in her stomach. The girl looked so very young.

'Do you want something to eat or drink?', asked Debbie in a soft tone that Lou had not heard her use before. Ximena did not reply. She had been completely mute ever since Lou had rejected her advances.  
Lou wanted to tell Debbie what had happened in the bedroom. Warn Debbie that Ximena was completely confused about her situation.  
Debbie, however, seemed to sense Ximena's fear even without Lou explaining it. She slowly walked up to Ximena. Lou noticed that Debbie held on to the table to keep her weight off her bad ankle. Ximena must have noticed too, because Lou felt the girl next to her tense up. Ximena was looking at the door, clearly calculating if she could make a run for it.  
Before the girl had made a decision, Debbie had reached them and gently guided her towards the couch, telling her in that same soft tone that Lou had not heared Debbie use before this evening, what she was doing.

'I'm going to make you a bed and then you sleep, just sleep and tomorrow, when we all feel a bit better, we are going to make a plan. Ok? You are safe now.'  
Lou stood awkwardly in the kitchen, not knowing if she needed to follow them. She decided not to, because she did not want to crowd Ximena. She decided to lock the door though, because the girl disappearing in the cold night seemed like a bad scenario.  
After that, she softly put the kettle on, knowing that Debbie liked some tea after a hectic night. Once that was done, she looked for some painkillers for Debbie, knowing that the sprained ankle must hurt.  
In the background she could hear Debbie's soft voice, soothing Ximena as she made up the couch in the den. Lou thought it was pretty smart of Debbie to settle Ximena in the den, because there was only a curtain, giving the girl some privacy but also making sure that they could keep an eye (or an ear) on this strange girl. Lou could not exactly hear the words Debbie spoke, but it was clear that she was trying to make the girl feel at ease.

After ten minutes Debbie returned, her eyes glistering. She looked very tired. She walked up to Lou and without words asked for a comforting hug. Lou wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her closer. By the way Debbie grabbed on to her shirt Lou could tell how upset the woman was. She felt how Debbie took a few deep breaths.

'That poor girl', she murmured in Lou's shoulder. Lou let out a soft hum in agreement.  
After a minute Debbie stepped back a little, so she could look at Lou.

'How old do you think she is?', she questioned.  
'She told me she was eighteen', replied Lou. 'But I think that she is told to answer that…'  
'By who?', asked Debbie, her tone almost daring Lou to answer what they were both thinking.  
'I don't know, Deb, by the people who owned her..', Lou replied softly, twirling Debbie's hair around her finger. 'Deb, she thought that I was a customer. That she needed to have sex with me.'  
Lou felt nauseous thinking about how the girl had tried to kiss her. Debbie just looked sad. Lou watched how her girlfriend opened her mouth to say something, was apparently lost for words and just shook her head instead. Lou felt the same.


	3. Tres

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Drugs.’, was her short reply.
> 
> ‘Fuck, of course’, said Debbie, not taking her eyes of the girl. ‘You think she is in withdrawal?’
> 
> Lou nodded, even though Debbie could not see it. Debbie softly stroked the girl’s head, sweeping strands of soaked hair out of her face.
> 
> ‘What do we do?’, asked Debbie. Lou stayed silent. What Lou wanted to do was turn around, get on her bike and drive away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for drugs

Lou had dozed off in a bean bag in the living room. Suddenly she woke up, hearing a sound. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Debbie was sitting on the couch, nursing a cup of tea, she was not aware of Lou’s gaze, but was looking at the curtain closing off the den. There was a slight frown on her face. Sun was coming through the windows, but Debbie did not look like she slept at all this night.

Lou heard the sound again. Soft whimpers came from behind the curtains. She was just about to throw a questioning look to Debbie, to see if her girlfriend heard the same, however Debbie was already on her feet.

Debbie walked by Lou, tapping her softly on her shoulder, apparently not yet aware that Lou was awake.

‘I’m up’, grumbled Lou, pushing herself out of the bean bag and following Debbie. Debbie stood still next to the curtain and looked over at Lou, her eyes uncertain.

 ‘Uhm Ximena, are you awake?’, asked Debbie. There was no answer, but there was a soft gasp from behind the curtains.

 ‘We are coming in’, warned Debbie, pushing the curtain to the side. Lou peeked over Debbie’s shoulder and saw Ximena curled up in a ball. The girl did not seem aware of their presence. Her eyes were closed, she was shivering all over and there were beads of sweat on her forehead. She seemed to be in pain, soft whimpers escaping her mouth, her eyes shut tightly.

 Debbie was kneeling next to the bed, her hand on Ximena’s forehead.

 ‘She is burning up. Do you think she got sick from being outside last night?’, questioned Debbie.

 Lou was standing at the edge of the room, the den suddenly felt very cramped.

 ‘Drugs.’, was her short reply.

 ‘Fuck, of course’, said Debbie, not taking her eyes of the girl. ‘You think she is in withdrawal?’

 Lou nodded, even though Debbie could not see it. Debbie softly stroked the girl’s head, sweeping strands of soaked hair out of her face.

 ‘What do we do?’, asked Debbie. Lou stayed silent. What Lou wanted to do was turn around, get on her bike and drive away.

 ‘What kind of drugs?’, said Debbie, her voice rising. Ximena seemed slightly aware of Debbie, clutching on to her hand and whimpering softly.

Lou chest tightened, something about the helpless girl in their house made her uneasy. She sharply sucked in some air.

‘Could be everything, heroin or GHB probably. Maybe both…’, she replied.

Debbie’s voice was urgent. ‘Lou, what do we do?’

‘I don’t know, Deb’, Lou snapped. ‘Just because my brother OD’ed, doesn’t make me a drugs expert.’

Debbie looked over her shoulder at Lou briefly, concern in her eyes, before Ximena took her attention away again with a painful whimper.

Lou took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She stepped back a little. She watched how Debbie was typing something on her phone with one hand, googling some things about withdrawal, her other hand softly stroking Ximena’s curls.  
Lou took another step back. She admired Debbie for being there, for comforting Ximena. For keeping a clear head. But she just could not.

She stepped back, out of the room.

Debbie looked at her, obviously confused by Lou’s behavior.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Ximena. She needs some things.’, answered Lou hastily, and with that she was gone.

 

It surprised Lou that Debbie was so calm with Ximena because whenever Tammy brought her brats over, Debbie would keep her distance. In Debbie’s own words kids were boring, greatly overestimated their own abilities and could not even tell a story with a punchline. Lou on the other hand was much better with Tammy’s kids and they adored her. What she loved most about Tammy’s kids though, was the fact that she could hand them back to their mother whenever they were whiny, crying or in pain.

Debbie stayed by Ximena’s side for hours. Once the initial shock was over, she felt oddly calm. It was actually not the first time she saw someone in withdrawal, it had happened a few times in prison. She had never really helped before, since she had isolated herself in prison. But between her prison experience and the internet, she was pretty sure what she needed to do. She spent the day whispering soothing words to Ximena. Ximena was switching between shivering and sweating. She helped Ximena go to the toilet and held the bucket when she needed to throw up. She wiped her face when her nose started running. Ximena held on to Debbie for dear life. Debbie knew it was only because the girl was in pain and in a daze, but she still felt honored that Ximena was turning to her for comfort.

 

When Lou finally came back with some shopping bags, it was almost evening. Debbie had to admit that it had not been a bad idea to buy Ximena some stuff. The clothes she was currently wearing were drenched in sweat and way too big.Lou had also bought some medicine, Debbie did not even know existed, which would help to keep Ximena’s fluids up.

With Lou’s help, she got Ximena upstairs. Debbie could see that Lou was not in her element with the vulnerable girl at her side. Debbie wondered if anyone but herself would have noticed, but she saw Lou flinch ever so slightly whenever Ximena hold on to her. Lou was helping in every way that Debbie asked, but she was just missing her usual nonchalance.

Debbie offered Lou an out.

‘Why don’t you go downstairs and make us some soup?’, she asked. Lou looked between her and Ximena, her eyes uncertain.

‘We’ll be fine’, smiled Debbie and Lou looked relieved to be able to leave the room.

 

Debbie turned on the taps of their bath and helped Ximena out of her clothes. Debbie had never been a prude and even if she had been, prison would probably have fixed that.

Still trying to give Ximena as much privacy as possible though, she helped the girl in the bath.

She could however not help but notice how bruised the girl was. She saw the bite marks around her breasts, the foot shaped bruise on her back. It sent shivers down her spine. She also did not like all the ribs poking out, Ximena was way too skinny. If she thought Lou was bony, this girl was underfed.

Ximena sat down in the bath, hugging her knees, her eyes closed and her brows furrowed in pain. Debbie gently sprayed water on Ximena’s head and massaged some shampoo in with big soothing motions. Debbie could not really describe how she knew it, but she felt that Ximena needed that. She had not said so, but Debbie knew she had a headache.

After Ximena was washed and seemed more relaxed, Debbie got her out of the bath and dried her off. Ximena seemed completely okay with Debbie drying her and even helping her in her underwear and Debbie wondered sadly if that was because Ximena was still so out of it or because she was just used to being naked with strangers.

When Ximena was dressed in the new clothes Lou had brought, Debbie bent forward and pressed a kiss on the top of Ximena’s head.

‘You’re safe now, Ximena.’, said Debbie.

She did not expect Ximena to react, but the girl looked up to her, her eyes intently studying Debbie’s face.

Debbie smiled softly and maybe she imagined it, but she thought that the corners of Ximena’s mouth tugged up, just a little.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best chapter I'm afraid. Also, poor Ximena :(


	4. Cuatro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Deb', Tammy's voice was stern and yet full of pity. 'You can't just steal a kid if you want one.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so long, I don't know what happened. Hope you guys like it and let me know what you think :)

Lou knew she and Debbie had done the right thing getting Ximena out of there and Lou really tried to be helpful with Ximena the following days. But somehow, she found it hard. She did not feel like she and Debbie were the best people to look out for such a troubled person. Lou did not know what to do when Ximena was in pain and whenever the girl let out a whimper, she just wanted to leave the room. It was not that she was unsympathetic, she just did not know how she could be of comfort to the girl. And Lou hated not being useful.  
So, she actually felt great relief when she received a text from Tammy, saying that she had dumped her kids at sleepovers and was coming for a weekend in their loft. Tammy would know what to do. Tammy could help.

Lou opened the bedroom door with her elbow, trying to balance the bowl of soup, the glass of water and the painkillers in her hands. Debbie was sitting on their bed, reading a book, while Ximena was lying on her back with an arm over her eyes. Debbie looked up and smiled at Lou.  
'Lou brought you some food, Ximena', said Debbie, softly nudging her. With a grumble the girl sat up. Lou had to admit that the silver lining of Ximena's withdrawal was that the girl had bonded immensely with Debbie in her days of misery.  
Lou sat down at the edge of the bed and offered Ximena the bowl of soup, which she took immediately. Now her stomach had settled down a bit, Ximena actually seemed to be hungry all the time, which Lou figured was a good thing because the girl was way too thin.  
'Tammy texted, she is coming tonight.'  
Debbie nodded.  
'Tammy is one of our friends', explained Lou, when two questioning brown eyes looked at her.  
This seemed to stop Ximena's appetite. The girl did not say anything, but quietly put her spoon down and looked gloomily at the soup.  
Lou shared a worried look with Debbie.  
'Tammy is really nice', tried Debbie kindly. 'You will like her.'  
Ximena looked up from her bowl and nodded a few times.  
'Okay', she said hoarsely. 'I'm gonna be good.'  
'I know you will'. Debbie smiled relieved. Lou felt like she was having a déjà vu.  
Debbie tucked a strand of hair behind Ximena's ear. 'I bet Tammy is really excited to meet you too.'  
Ximena smiled and nodded but was not looking at Debbie or Lou. The look on her face was oddly reminding Lou of Ximena's first night at the loft. Lou thought maybe she knew what was going on in Ximena's head, but Debbie did not seem to think that anything was going on, so Lou decided to let it go.

When Tammy entered the loft, Lou was in the kitchen with Debbie. They had left Ximena upstairs with the bag of clothes, Lou had picked up a few days earlier, telling her to get dressed and come down when she was ready.  
Tammy dropped her bags by the door and walked over to their fridge, only once she had poured herself a glass of wine, did she acknowledge the two other women in the room.  
'You guys better are ready to party this weekend, 'cause I had a terrible week.', she said, gulping down her glass at an impressive speed.  
Lou and Debbie shared a look, not really knowing how to tell Tammy what had happened in the last week.  
'By the way, how did the heist go?', asked Tammy. 'How much did you make?'  
Debbie looked at Lou and blinked surprised.  
'Uhm, I don't know actually… Do you?', she asked Lou. Lou shook her head. Now that she was thinking about it, she had not spared a thought for the bag of money, since the heist.  
'Anyone wanna tell me what is going on?', demanded Tammy, eyeing the two women expectantly.

While Debbie recanted their heist and its complications to Tammy, Lou went to look for the bag of money she thought she had dropped in the kitchen a few days before.  
After a few minutes Lou found the bag in a weird place. Hidden behind the curtain, it was lying under the couch in the den.  
Completely surprised Lou took the bag back to the kitchen, intending to ask Debbie if she had dropped the bag there.

'…she is here now, she can come down any minute', Lou overheard Debbie say when she walked in, apparently Debbie had already explained their situation with Ximena to Tammy.

'Deb', Tammy's voice was stern and yet full of pity. 'You can't just steal a kid if you want one.'

'I, what no-, that is not what happened.', sputtered Debbie insulted. 'Tammy, she was there against her will. We could not have left her.'

Lou smashed the money bag down on the table startling Tammy and Debbie. Partly to stop the incoming heated discussion, but mostly because she was very curious about how the bag had ended up in the den.  
'Found this in the den.', she announced.  
Debbie opened the bag. The money was still there, but there was also a toothbrush in there, together with one of Lou's jeans, some t-shirts and a map of the New York metro.

'How? When..? I don't -', Debbie was completely stunned. 'Did Ximena put together an escape bag?'

What happened next were multiple things after each other. The most important thing was that Lou suddenly felt a rush of love for Ximena. Seeing the escape bag that Ximena had so carefully put together for herself, somehow made Lou realize that Ximena was not just a helpless creature. Maybe it was because Lou had also once been a young girl, trying to run away with a duffel bag filled with money and some spare clothes. She suddenly felt this need to protect Ximena.  
The other thing that happened was that Ximena finally had come down. She stood frozen in the doorway, looking at her discovered escape bag with fear in her eyes.

'Where are her clothes?', asked Tammy shocked, looking at Ximena, who just there in the cotton underwear Lou had picked up for her.  
Ximena decided to run. She pushed her way past Debbie and Tammy and was almost out of the kitchen before Lou caught her.

'easy there', she said to Ximena. Ximena pushed Lou with surprising force and started screaming on top of her lungs, fighting to escape Lou's grip. Some of it was in English, some in Spanish, but the meaning was clear: Let me go, let me out of here and I don't want to this anymore.  
Tammy had a hand pressed to her mouth and watched the scene in horror and Debbie was nowhere to be seen, leaving Lou with the task of calming down the terrified girl.

'Shhh.' She tried to make her voice come out in calming tone, but it was hard with Ximena trashing in her arms.

  
'Tammy is not here to have sex with you.' Ximena's hands were still pounding on her chest but it was with less force now.  
'We are not mad about the bag.' Lou continued, and she felt the last of fight escape Ximena's body.

  
The girl slumped against Lou, a sob shaking through her whole body.  
'And we are going to help you. You'll never have to do this anymore.', Lou promised with passion. Vowing to herself that she would do everything in her power to keep the girl from harm.

'dejame ir, dejame ir', Ximena kept saying. Lou rubbed Ximena's back in what she hoped were soothing motions, anxiously looking around for help.

Debbie turned up with a bathing robe, wrapping Ximena in it. Lou could see the distress on her girlfriend's face. Lou felt bad as well. She had known Ximena was confused about Tammy's presence but had decided not to say anything. Between Tammy's horrified expression and the young girl who was hiding her face in Lou's flannel, Lou felt guilty.

Debbie turned to Tammy and said with surprising rage: 'Still think we shouldn't have stolen her?'

Forty minutes later, peace had kind of returned in their household. It took a lot of soft talking, but Ximena finally seemed to believe that she was not in trouble for taking the money bag. She was not exactly relaxed but she was not completely on edge anymore.  
That was, until Nineball sauntered into their kitchen.

'Heard you needed my help.', she said. Debbie whipped around and looked angrily at Tammy.

'Don't be mad', started Tammy. 'I texted Nineball. She is going to find Ximena's family. It isn't finders, keepers.'

Debbie wanted to protest, but Lou was by her side and tugged her arm.  
'We do need to know more about Ximena.', said her girlfriend and Debbie decided to give the hacker a chance. She rested against the counter and watched as Nineball seated herself at the table and opened her laptop. Nineball turned to Ximena, completely ignoring the other three people in the room.

'Listen. I'm gonna help you. But I need you to be honest. OK?' Nineball's tone was not exactly harsh but it was more direct than Debbie would have liked anyone to speak to the fragile girl and she opened her mouth to tell Nineball. Again, Lou was tugging her arm, telling her to stay silent.  
Ximena looked at Nineball's face intently before nodding a few times.  
Nineball cracked a lazy grin. 'Good.'  
She tapped away on her laptop, not looking up. 'Name and last name?'  
Debbie held her breath, Ximena had yet not given her last name to them.

'Ximena Mares.' Debbie felt Lou excitedly pinch her arm when the girl answered.

'Age?', asked Nineball not looking up, scrolling through a webpage.

'Eighteen', said Ximena and Debbie sighed. Two steps forward and one step back.

Nineball gave the girl a once-over and shook her head. 'Now that's a lie.'

Ximena swallowed nervously.

'Your mama called Mariana?', asked the hacker.

Ximena's eyes widened in surprise, but she stayed quiet. Only after Nineball sent her a warning look, she nodded.

Nineball tapped something on the laptop. 'Found you.', she said triumphant. Then she squinted her eyes at the page she just opened.  
'Yeah, I can't read this. It's Spanish.'

Lou shoved Tammy in the direction of the laptop with her free arm, the other one still holding Debbie's wrist.  
'Tam help us out, make sure you dating that asshole Carlos was not just a waste of time.'

Tammy bent over Nineball's shoulders and looked at the official documents Nineball had conjured.  
'That her birth date?', asked Nineball, pointing at something on the screen.  
'Jesus', swore Tammy, she looked at Ximena, who was nervously shifting on her stool. 'Sweetheart, you are only fourteen.'

Ximena looked down at the table, her fingers tracing some pattern on the table. 'Almost fifteen', she whispered, but it did nothing to ease the minds of the adults in the room.

Tammy was scrolling through the formal documents quickly, summarizing the high lights. 'Born in Tijuana. Mother Mariana Mares, father not listed.'  
Tammy scrolled down further.  
'Oh no', she said sadly, placing her hand over Ximena's arm. 'I'm so sorry.'  
She turned to Debbie and Lou. 'Mariana Mares died two years ago.'  
Ximena withdrew her arm from Tammy's grip and put both her arms in her lap. She looked beaten and Debbie stepped forward to go comfort the girl.  
Nineball's eyes met hers and she shook her head ever so slightly. Debbie stepped back, deciding to trust Nineball. The hacker had gotten more information out of Ximena in the past few minutes, than they had in the past few days.

'What happened after your mama died?', asked Nineball, dropping her head so she could look Ximena in the eyes.

Ximena looked up, her eyes locked on Nineball. All the muscles in her face were on edge. Debbie was not sure if Ximena liked the way Nineball understood her or was frightened by it.

'She lived on the streets.' Tammy was the one who answered the questions, still scrolling through the documents.

'Don't want them to find me again.' Ximena breathed softly.

Nineball shook her head sympathetically. 'I know.'

Nineball shifted in her seat, so she was blocking the other three adults from Ximena's view. Debbie stepped to the side, ignoring Lou's warning hand on her wrist. She needed to look at Ximena's face.

'How many pimps did you have? Did they mark you. Your daddies?', Nineball asked.

Ximena slowly lifted her shirt and Debbie watched in horror, why did this girl always try to take of her clothes? Ximena showed her hip to Nineball, Debbie could see some lines on her hip.

'Hector', said Ximena, pointing at the upper line, a very rigged scar.

Nineball nodded.

'Daddy-Joe.' Ximena pointed at a black line underneath the top line which seemed to consist out of tattooed letters.

'Mr. Kyle.', this line actually consisted out five cigarette burns.

'Liam', Ximena poked at the bottom line on her hip, which had an angry red edge to it. Debbie recognized the name Liam, he was involved in the underground casino.

'Miss Debbie.' Ximena did not point at her hip now, but her finger was directed at Debbie.

'Nah, my girl. Debbie is not a pimp.' Nineball shook her head and lighted her joint. 'She don't owe you. Circle is gonna end with Liam.'

Debbie did not even feel upset anymore when Ximena pointed at her. She just felt sad. Ximena had been subjected to so much abuse in the past years, she did not understand what was happening.

'What do we do now?', asked Lou next to her, trying to be practical.

'We go to the authorities', said Tammy pointedly.

Debbie let out a disapproving grunt and heard similar noises from Lou and Nineball. Ximena grabbed Nineball's arm and shook her head, her eyes were wide.

'Gotta agree with your girl here', said Nineball. 'Authorities never do any good.'

'They can help.', said Tammy and Debbie was sure that this was the same tone she used when her kids needed to eat their vegetables.

Nineball took a puff, she seemed irritated. 'What they also can do is alert the pimps where Ximena has run off too. Or they can put her in jail, deport her or put her in fucking foster care.'

If Tammy was taken aback by Nineball's harsh tone, she did not show it. 'Why would they put her in jail. She is the victim!'. She shook her head and waved her arms, indicating that she found Nineball foolish.

Nineball puffed out some smoke. 'Prostitution is illegal in the state of New York.'

'Surely they wouldn't…', Tammy said, less sure now. 'They are going to find her a safe home in foster care.'

Nineball let out a sound that could either be a bark-like laugh or a cough. 'A safe home or foster care?', she questioned. 'You gotta pick one.'

Tammy anxiously looked at Lou and Debbie for support, taken back by the bitter tone of Nineball.

Nineball looked at Ximena. 'You wanna tell soccer mom over there', she bopped her head at Tammy. 'how many of the girls you met while being trafficked, used to be in foster care?'

Ximena seemed completely uncomfortable being involved in this argument and looked over at Debbie and Lou.

Nineball followed Ximena's gaze and took one last puff of her smoke before stubbing it out.  
'Or I can put Ximena Mares in the legal care of Lou Miller and Debbie Ocean.', she suggested slowly.

The question lingered in the air. Debbie felt how Lou's hand found her own. She looked at Ximena and the corners of her mouth tugged up.

'Would you like that?', she questioned. Ximena's eyes were darting between her and Lou. Debbie could practically see the wheels spinning in her head.

'Surely it is not as easily done as said.', interrupted Tammy the heavy silence. By the way Lou squeezed her hand, Debbie knew that she was not the only one who found that Tammy made a lot of annoying remarks this day.

Nineball did not even acknowledge Tammy but locked her eyes on Debbie.  
'I have done it before.', she said confidently and Debbie trusted her.

Tammy snapped her mouth shut with a noticeable clack of her teeth. 'O', she gasped as if something finally dawned on her. 'Veronica.'

Nineball threw a few of her locks back and glanced at Tammy. 'Told ya I didn't like foster care.'

Debbie was barely registering the conversation between the two. She was still looking at Ximena. She clutched on to Lou's hand.

'Do you want to live with us, Ximena?', asked Lou and Debbie could hear how nervous her girlfriend was.

Ximena's eyes darted over to Lou. Debbie felt someone's pulse (her own? Lou's?) quicken.

Ximena took a deep breath, opening her mouth. Her eyes were glistening.

'Yes, please', she whispered.

Now, Debbie's eyes were glistening too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone know if Tammy's kids actually have names and if not, do you guys have any suggestions?


	5. Cinco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ximena had also not yet laughed out loud and both Lou and Ximena's therapist had told Debbie to give it time. There had been a lot of trauma in Ximena's life and it would take time to heal. Debbie, however, did not have the character nor the patience to wait around for things to happen on their own. But as Lou had put it, you could not con someone into being truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little different, because it consists out of some small scenes. I just have so many cute scenarios in my head and I want to share all of them with you, but I'm not sure if it reads nice this way. Please let me know if you like one scene better or if you are okay with all the jumps in time. Maybe I can turn all my leftover ideas into one shots one day if people are interested in that ^^.

Despite Tammy's doubts, Lou and Debbie turned out to be just the thing Ximena needed. Granted, they phoned Tammy with questions every other day the first few weeks. How did you enroll a kid in school? Who was the best pediatrician of New York? What did normal people have for breakfast? Did Tammy maybe know a good therapist? The questions kept coming and Tammy answered them all with patience.  
But the following months Debbie and Lou did not only surpass Tammy's expectations, but also their own. They were actually pretty great with Ximena. Ximena was shy and quiet and almost never dared to say what she wanted. This turned out to be not too big of a problem for the two con-women. They had made a career out of reading people and manipulating them into doing things. Ximena was not a mark obviously, but their grifter's skills did actually turn out to be useful. 

For example, once when they were in the mall a week after Nineball had put Ximena in their care, trying to buy some stuff for Ximena's almost empty room and closet. It had been a painstakingly slow event, because Ximena was adamant that she did not need anything in her room. Lou and Debbie kept pointing to nice carpets, jeans, pajamas and some cushions but Ximena kept saying that she did not want anything and that she was happy with the stuff she already had. 

So far only a pair of socks had it made it into their cart.

When they finally exited the shop, they had actually three full bags of stuff for Ximena. In the end, Debbie had gotten impatient and had just put everything that Ximena even remotely looked at in the cart. 

'If you'd just tell us what you wanted, then we wouldn't have to buy all this nonsense', she had explained to Ximena. The girl had watched her fill the cart with a pained expression, but apparently Ximena was still not able to voice what she wanted. Debbie was okay with this arrangement for now, it was not like they could not miss the money.

When they walked back to their car, Debbie noticed how the girl longingly looked at the ice cream parlor.  
'You want some ice cream?', she asked. She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. 

Unsurprisingly, Ximena shook her head. 

This is where Lou and Debbie's decades of conning marks had come in handy.  
'Yes, you know I love ice cream after shopping.', lied Lou smoothly. They barely ever shopped together (this had to with Lou's annoying habit to pay for the stuff she wanted) and besides, Lou did not even have a sweet tooth. Ximena blushed because she thought she had answered a question that was not meant for her.  
Lou ordered an ice cream for herself and Debbie.  
'What do you want Ximena?', asked Lou, putting the girl on the spot in front of the cashier.  
Shyly, Ximena ordered one scoop for herself. Which Debbie saw as a victory.  
Debbie shared an excited grin with Lou when they saw the small smile on Ximena's lips after she had taken a lick from her ice cream. They were not so bad at this stuff.

 

They also did not have needed to worry about Ximena not having enough things, because as soon as the rest of their team found out about their newest family member and her lack of stuff, the gifts started to come.  
Soon Ximena's bedroom was filled with books that Rose had given her and a cute tapestry Amita had brought back from her trip to Istanbul. Tammy had provided some furniture from her warehouse-collection. All the women had tried to imprint their fashion sense on the girl: beanies, dresses and blouses filled her closet now. However Ximena preferred to walk around in one of Debbie's soft woolen sweaters all day, which were oversized for her. The walls of her room were filled with posters of Daphne's movies, which the movie star had so kindly gifted to her. ('And I signed them all, aren't you lucky.')  
Constance's "gifts" consisted out of her showing up with pizza and a movie most weekends. She and Ximena would bury themselves under a pile of blankets on the couch -there loft was drafty in the winter- and watch the newest animated movies. Debbie was glad that Constance had finally found someone who shared her love for kids' movies, because if she had to sit through the Minions one more time she would go crazy. Debbie figured that Constance also was good company for Ximena because she had the maturity of a teenager herself. The two would stay up for hours, cramming pizza and popcorn in their mouths and booing at the screen whenever something went wrong. Debbie did not even complain when she was swiping up crumps everywhere the day after, she was just too happy that Ximena was having fun.

The best gift however came from Nineball. She did not deliver it personally, but one day they came home and found a pool table in their home. At first Debbie thought it was a pretty bold move from Nineball to fill their home with more pub furniture, it had taken her long enough to convince Lou that their downstairs bathroom did not need cubicles and that the poker table should not be out all the time. However, she had soon forgiven the hacker, because watching Lou teach Ximena pool made Debbie's insides melt together. She could watch forever as Lou patiently - much more patiently than she had ever been with her- explained the rules to Ximena. She did not think that Lou could be more attractive than when she gently adjusted Ximena's arm to take the best shot and the genuine smile she gave whenever Ximena made a ball disappear in the pocket made Debbie's heart jump with joy. The two of them could play for hours.

It gave Debbie a sense of calm to see Ximena settle in. She felt very responsible for the girl's wellbeing and she hoped that Ximena was happy. It was hard to judge because Ximena was still very troubled. She was not exactly a chatterbox and would almost never start the conversation, she did however not mind the affection Lou and Debbie gave her. Debbie hoped that it meant she felt at home and trusted them.  
Ximena had also not yet laughed out loud and both Lou and Ximena's therapist had told Debbie to give it time. There had been a lot of trauma in Ximena's life and it would take time to heal. Debbie, however, did not have the character nor the patience to wait around for things to happen on their own. But as Lou had put it, you could not con someone into being truly happy. 

That was why, early on the morning of boxing day, she had the best Christmas present ever. Their home was filled with women trying to sleep through their hangover, but downstairs some early risers were already awake.  
Debbie had just taken the cup of coffee Ximena had already put on the counter for her and poured in some milk, when Tammy asked her attention.  
'Deb, Deb', Tammy hissed, beckoning Debbie with her hand. Debbie walked over to her friend, who was kind of hiding behind the book closet. In a corner, behind the book closet Derek was sitting on the ground with his new dinosaurs toys, he had gotten the previous day. Across from him was Ximena, holding a diplodocus in her hand (which Debbie recognized because last night she had gotten an impromptu lecture about dinosaurs species from the boy) and moving it around, like it was walking. Derek was also holding a dino and was roaring it at Ximena.  
It was a cute scene to watch and she and Tammy spied on the kids for a good few minutes. And then it happened.  
Derek did a silly move and roared at Ximena and Ximena in response giggled. 

She giggled.

Debbie grabbed Tammy's arm to steady herself, excitement rushing through her body. The high she felt was greater than any she had ever felt after finishing a con.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to bother you, but comments truly make my day so if you have a few minutes left over, please leave one <3


	6. Seis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Which important date?’, she questioned, when the car in front of her stopped completely. ‘the Met gala?’
> 
> This got a tiny smile out of Ximena.
> 
> ‘No.’, she replied, nervously fumbling with the zipper on her backpack. ‘Mother’s Day.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just some fluff, hope you guys like it.

When Lou sighed for the sixth time, Debbie could not take it anymore.

‘You know you would be less tense if you weren’t on your fourth cup of coffee right now.’, she could not help reprimanding.

Lou stopped tapping her nails on the table and looked over at Debbie. ‘I just wonder if she is alright. Maybe it’s too soon.’

Debbie had to hide her smirk, she found Lou’s nervousness actually adorable, since it rarely showed. Last night Lou had been tossing and turning all night -hence the coffee- because today was Ximena’s first day of school.  
She had even offered to take Ximena to school, which the girl had politely declined. Debbie could not blame the girl; high schoolers usually found their own way to school in New York.

Lou grabbed her cell phone.

‘You text her again, she is gonna be in trouble for using her mobile in class.’, warned Debbie. She gently took the phone out of Lou’s hand.

‘Stop it.’ She laughed at Lou’s pained expression. ‘She is fine.’

‘You don’t know that’, shot Lou back. ‘That’s our kid is out there.’

 

Something shifted in the atmosphere.

 

‘ _Our_ kid?. Debbie raised her eyebrows.

Lou shrugged. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘That would make us her mothers’, continued Debbie softly.

Lou finally looked at her. ‘What can I say Deb, she wormed a way into my heart.’

‘She is not our daughter, she already had a mom.’, warned Debbie. ‘We couldn’t ask that of her.’

Lou waved her hand dismissively. ‘Then I care about _our kid_ as her legal guardian.’

Debbie smiled. ‘Yeah, me too.’

‘You think we can ask Nineball to hack the school camera’s?’, joked Lou.

Debbie laughed. ‘She’d kill us.’

‘Nineball or Ximena?’

Debbie did not know actually.

 

They need not have worried. Ximena’s first few weeks of school went smoothly. The girl actually seemed really excited about most of her subjects. Soon, they had settled in a domestic routine Debbie would have never imagined herself in. She fixed breakfasts most mornings and Lou cooked amazingly most nights, Ximena always did her homework without prompting and their evenings were spent together watching television or playing cards.

 

Tammy noted that they had the only teenager that did not confine herself to her room or disappeared for hours with her friends to the mall. Tammy had meant it as a joke, but it did worry Debbie that Ximena only spoke about her teachers -most of them she liked- and never about her classmates.

That was until one night.

‘Deb, Lou, can I ask something?’, asked Ximena when they were finishing dinner. Debbie looked up and was not entirely sure why she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

‘Sure thing, kid.’ It was not until Lou had answered that Debbie realized that this was the first time that Ximena had actually requested something.

She looked expectantly at the girl.

Ximena nervously pushed the chicken bones around with her fork.

‘Yeah, uhm, me and this kid Jonah..’, she started finally looking up at Lou and Debbie. ‘We have to do a project together and he lives really far away from school, so, uhm, we were wondering if we could do it here. In your house.’

‘Of course, hon. It is your house too, you know.’, Lou replied casually while collecting their empty plates.

Debbie was not as good as her girlfriend at hiding her excitement at Ximena making a friend. She beamed at Ximena, who blushed slightly.

 

The next day Lou found Debbie sitting in the designer armchair in the corner of their loft.

‘What are you doing here?’, she questioned suspiciously, because that chair was quite uncomfortable, the only reason they kept it was because it was a nice souvenir from a con they pulled.

Debbie motioned for her to be quiet.

‘I’m listening in.’, Debbie whispered.

‘You mean you are spying on Ximena.’, corrected Lou, because at this spot you could clearly hear what was being said in the rooms upstairs. ‘You know about this thing called privacy?’

Debbie huffed. ‘It is really innocent, they are just talking about the solar system.’

Lou walked over to her record player nonetheless, figuring that some music might save Ximena from Debbie’s prying ears.

 

An hour later, the voices of Ximena and Jonah carried over the music as they made their way down the stairs. Jonah was apparently in the middle of a story about Mr. Wellbrooks and judging by Ximena’s reaction, it was an amusing story.

‘Do you want to stay for dinner?’, Debbie asked Jonah as she was pouring some boiling water in the teapot. She suddenly realized that she had become her mother.

Except, she was not a mother. She wished that she could settle with what she had. Why did she always want more?

‘I can’t’, replied Jonah wistfully. ‘I have to go to my little brother’s recital, but it smells really nice.’ He smiled politely at Lou who was bent over her famous Thai curry.

‘Yeah, Lou’s curries are amazing.’, said Ximena.

‘Perhaps another time, kid. You’re always welcome.’, replied Lou. 

‘Have fun at the recital.’, called Debbie after Jonah as he and Ximena walked towards the door.

‘Thanks, it’s a bunch of nine year olds playing violin, so I doubt I will’, replied Jonah. Debbie was not sure if it was Jonah’s humor or the big grin that he made appear on Ximena’s face, but she liked the boy.

 

Lou tugged at her arm. ‘Taste this please’, she said, offering Debbie a spoonful of curry. Debbie was pretty sure that this was Lou’s attempt at giving Jonah and Ximena some seclusion as they said their goodbyes, but it was a wasted effort since from the kitchen they could clearly hear everything that was being said by the door.

‘I really like your moms’, they could hear Jonah say.

‘They are not my moms.’, corrected Ximena. ‘But I really like them too.’

 

Debbie looked over at Lou to see if she also felt like a stone had been dropped in her stomach.  Her girlfriend, however was contently stirring the pan. When she felt Debbie’s eyes on her, she grinned at her girlfriend.

‘They like us!’, she mouthed in mock excitement, one hand next to her mouth as if she was sharing a secret. Debbie smiled back, but could not help feeling disappointed. She tried to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach, but she would really like Ximena to call them her mothers.

 

It seemed that Debbie had to settle with not being a mom for a Ximena, but someone she really liked. It was not an ungrateful job at all. Ximena slowly opening up to them was a gift in itself. Debbie could not wish for more. Or so she told herself.

 

‘Hi, sweetheart. How did it go?’, greeted Debbie when Ximena opened the door to the passenger seat and got in.

Ximena did not reply, but just hugged the backpack on her lap. This was not that surprising as Debbie had learned that the girl was usually a bit more quiet after group therapy. In the eight months that Ximena had lived with them, Debbie had learned to be patient with the girl. Ever since Ximena had started group therapy a few months back, she had been more open about her past.

So Debbie started the car and joined the New York rush hour, trusting that Ximena would tell what was on her mind in her own time.

Traffic was really slow however, and Debbie soon grew bored when they were stuck on the same lane for five minutes.

‘What did you guys talk about today?’, she asked, tapping her hand on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song that was playing on the radio.

Ximena glanced at her. ‘About an important day in May.’, she mumbled evasively.  
This kept Debbie’s mind occupied for the next slow meters of traffic.

‘Which important date?’, she questioned, when the car in front of her stopped completely. ‘the Met gala?’

This got a tiny smile out of Ximena.

‘No.’, she replied, nervously fumbling with the zipper on her backpack. ‘Mother’s Day.’

Debbie nodded, she was not sure how to respond. Ximena barely ever talked about Mariana Mares. She wondered if she and Lou should put together some kind of ode to the girl’s mother at the holiday.

Ximena seemed to gather some courage. ‘The girls challenged me to ask you something.’, she admitted.

Debbie looked at her daughter, an uneasy feeling settling in her stomach. The girls at the group therapy were all survivors of sex trafficking. They helped each other on their way to recovery as the flyer had put it. Debbie appreciated that it actually worked for Ximena, but she did not like that she had to trust others to make her girl better. She also did not really like the confessions that came out of Ximena after the girls challenged her to say something. She was glad that Ximena had become more open about her past, but she just wished that there would be no traumatic experience to share.

‘O yeah, what’s that?’, questioned Debbie, keeping her tone light and her eyes on the road, knowing that her piercing look would not embolden Ximena.

Ximena took a deep breath. Debbie had trouble appearing calm and as the traffic in front of them moved along, she pulled up a little too fast.

‘Iwanttocallyoumymoms.’, blurted Ximena out as their car dove forwards.

‘What!’, exclaimed Debbie shocked by both the statement and her driving. She had not expected those words from Ximena. Not so soon. It felt surreal. It was the same feeling she had had when Lou had picked her up by Danny's grave after all those years in prison. She had wished for it, but she had not expected it to happen.

Ximena shrunk back in her seat in an almost successful attempt to hide behind the backpack.

‘Nevermind.’, she mumbled.

‘Shit. No! Fuck, I mean yes.’, Debbie was pretty sure that she was screwing this up. Traffic be damned she pulled over and stopped the car.

She turned in her seat and looked at the girl.

‘I would love it for you to call me mom’, she said to the girl.

Ximena peeked over her backpack, her eyes uncertain. ‘You don’t have to say yes’, she said.

‘Honey.’ Debbie grabbed Ximena’s hand and looked her in the eyes. ‘We wanted you to call us your moms for a long time, we just didn’t dare to ask.’

Ximena blinked away the tears that had already been loaded up.

Debbie squeezed her hand. ‘I’m glad that you are braver.’

She pressed a kiss on Ximena’s temple. ‘Our brave daughter.’, she smiled. ‘Wait till Lou, - mama Lu’, she corrected herself. ‘hears this, she is gonna love this as well.’

Ximena smiled. ‘Try not to kill us with your driving on the way home then.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to bother you, but comments truly make my day so if you have a few minutes left over, please leave one <3


	7. Siete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry', hiccupped Ximena between sobs. 'I tried to be good.'
> 
> Debbie felt a shiver run up her spine, she would pay a million bucks to never hear her daughter say those words again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took me a while to update because I had a cold, but the upside is that I wrote a longer chapter in my hours of boredom.

'When was the last time Ximena talked to you?', asked Debbie.

Lou looked up from her bike's motor and furrowed her brows. 'I don't know, I've hardly seen you guys the past few days.'

Debbie bit her lip. There had been some problems with Lou's club permit and Lou had been down at the club a lot the past few days.

Lou carefully read Debbie's expression. 'Should we be worried?'

Debbie sucked in her bottom lip and looked guilty. 'We did not eat together last night, she was in her room studying when I came home. And in hindsight I think I was the only one who talked at breakfast this morning. Do you remember her saying anything when she just came home?'

Lou looked at the backpack Ximena had dropped by the door twenty minutes before. Ximena had waved at her when she came in, but she did not remember her saying anything.  
She looked over at Debbie.  
'You think she's gone silent again?'

Debbie sat down on the bike. 'Maybe… Or she is just mad that we've neglected her.'

Lou shook her head. That seemed highly unlikely because first of all Ximena would not be mad about that and secondly, they had hardly neglected her. Their fifteen year old daughter was okay with being on her own the odd night.

Lou put her tools back in the bag and wiped her hands on a piece of cloth. 'Well, you know what the therapist said, just give her time to come to us on her own terms.'

Debbie threw her head back. 'I don't like waiting.', she whined to the ceiling.

Lou grabbed her tool bag and stood up. Shutting down was Ximena's way of coping, but Lou did not like waiting for Ximena to open up either. She wanted to know what was wrong with Ximena right away, so they could fix it.

'I can't do this again.', said Debbie desperately. Lou had to agree with her, when Ximena had gone silent before it had been hard. Because if Ximena did not communicate, it was much harder to be of comfort.

'Or you can go talk to her...', she suggested.

This was all the encouragement Debbie needed and Lou watched her go up the stairs.

'just don't force her.', she warned.

 

'Ximena?'. Debbie knocked softly on the open door, before pushing it open entirely. Her daughter did not respond, but that was hardly surprising.  
Ximena was sitting cross-legged on her bed, writing something down in her notebook. She looked up when Debbie came in and smiled.

This seemed to be a good sign and Debbie slightly relaxed. She leaned back at the wall across the bed and looked around.

'I got to be the only mother to ever say this, but your room is too tidy', she said, looking at the neat pile of school books at Ximena's desk, the spotless floor and the immaculate wardrobe. 'You are allowed to live a little.'

Ximena looked at her and picked up a pillow from her bed. Remaining eye contact with Debbie, she tossed it on the floor.

Debbie grinned. 'Better.'

Ximena did not reply, but fumbled with her pen.

Debbie sighed. They may joke about it, but Ximena being so incredibly tidy might be part of a bigger problem. She wondered if Ximena still did not feel at home in this room, despite the fact that it had been hers for almost a year now. She wished she knew what was going on in the girl's head, but there was one problem.

'You are quiet.', she stated, looking intently at her daughter. Ximena just looked back at her.

Debbie sat down at the feet of Ximena's bed and touched her foot. She kept her distance though, because she had learned not to crowd the girl.

'Did something happen?', she questioned.

Ximena's shoulders went up as she took a deep breath. Debbie took that as a yes.

'You know you can talk to us.', continued Debbie.

Ximena looked at her with wide eyes and sucked in her bottom lip. Doubt clouded her face.

'Or we can call dr. Parker, if you'd rather talk to her', tried Debbie. Ximena normally only went to her therapist once a month nowadays, but if she was dealing with something Debbie wanted her to talk with someone about it.

Ximena shook her head and sighed. 'I'll tell you.'

Debbie smiled when she finally heard her daughter's sweet voice again. She looked at her daughter expectantly. Then it dawned on her that Ximena had meant she would tell them, rather than dr. Parker.

'Ok.' She nodded. 'Whenever you ready.' She tapped her daughter's foot fondly and stood up to leave the room. She knew she had to respect that Ximena needed her own space.  
She turned in the doorway and looked at her daughter.  
'We love you, don't you forget it.', she said, her eyes piercing into Ximena's.

Ximena was looking at a spot at Debbie's left, but she did reply with words. 'I love you too.', she said, almost wistfully.

Debbie's heart still made a small jump. She did not think that she would ever grow tired of hearing Ximena say those words.

They only had to wait until that evening for Ximena to open up. Lou was bent over some important papers, trying to establish a safer fire escape route for her club, leaving Debbie in charge of dinner. She had been staring into their fridge for the past few minutes, contemplating if she could get away with ordering take-out again, when she heard nervous shuffling of feet behind her.

'I need to tell you guys something.', spoke Ximena anxiously. Debbie forced herself to turn around slowly, instead of yanking the fridge door shut and spinning around. She did not want to frighten the girl any further.

Lou had put her glasses on her head and was looking at Ximena. 'What's up, love?'

Debbie could see that Ximena was holding a piece of paper. She could tell that Ximena was trembling, because the paper was shaking slightly in her grip.

Debbie worry was growing, why was Ximena scared?

Ximena looked at Lou, then at Debbie and bent her head down. 'I failed French', she said. 'I need you guys to sign it.'

Debbie breathed out in relief.

'That's all?', she said reassured, but one look from Lou made her regret it. Obviously, it was a big deal to Ximena.

Ximena looked up and burst out in tears. It took Debbie only three steps to embrace her. When Debbie wrapped her arms around the girl, she sobbed even harder and grabbed Debbie's back tightly as if she was afraid that Debbie might let go.

Debbie looked at Lou to see if she understood what had gotten in to Ximena, but Lou also seemed to be a bit shocked by Ximena's behavior.

'Ximena, you are only at the beginning of your sophomore year. Grades are not that important, there is plenty of time to get them up.', tried Lou, unsurely. It seemed unlikely that that was the sole reason for Ximena's behavior.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry', hiccupped Ximena between sobs. 'I tried to be good.'

Debbie felt a shiver run up her spine, she would pay a million bucks to never hear her daughter say those words again.

'I'm gonna be good. Please don't send me away!' Ximena's hands were painfully digging in her back now, but Debbie hardly noticed. She felt a lump in her throat but swallowed it away.

'Ximena!', she spoke vehemently, trying to get Ximena's attention. It did not work and Ximena's breathing was becoming more rapid now.  
'Sweetheart', she grabbed Ximena's chin and tilted it, so the girl could look at her. 'We are not sending you away, ever.'  
Ximena looked at her with big brown eyes, tears still flowing, but Debbie noticed that she was trying to control her breathing.  
'That's right', she encouraged the girl, swiping away a tear on the girl's cheek with her thumb. 'Breathe.'

When Ximena was finally taking deep breaths again, Debbie took her head gently between her hands.

'Listen to me', she said passionately, looking Ximena in her eyes. 'Lou and I will never stop loving you.'

Ximena did not seem able to stop her tears, she looked at Debbie, her lip still trembling.

'Why?', whispered Ximena. Debbie raised her eyebrows, she did not understand what Ximena was asking.

Lou seemed to understand though. 'We will never stop loving you because you are our daughter. We love you, Ximena, because you deserve it. You are kind and loving and funny and smart. And so very strong.'  
She was walking over to where Ximena still stood very close to Debbie and kissed the girl on her temple.  
'And don't you ever try to be good. You are pretty great already.'

Ximena sniffled. 'But you always tell your friends how well I do at school.', she mumbled. Debbie and Lou shared a guilty look. They did brag about Ximena's good grades. Whenever Tammy complained about Keri never practicing for her piano lessons, Debbie could not resist to tell her about how Ximena always did her homework without them even asking. Like a self-cleaning oven.

'That is not why we love you.', said Lou, softly rubbing Ximena's back.

'You don't love that I get good grades?', she wondered confused. Lou opened her mouth but closed it, because she felt like telling the girl that they did not care about her grades was also sending the wrong message. This was tricky territory.  
'Well', she started. 'We _like_ that you always try very hard in school, but we would not love you any less if you didn't.'

Ximena was still clinging on to do Debbie, but her grip had lost its urgency. She rested her head on Debbie's chest and looked at Lou. The girl looked worn out and with the knowledge Lou had now, she doubted that Ximena had slept well last night.

'I was so afraid you didn't want me anymore.', Ximena confessed and with a tremble of her lip the tears started flowing again.

Lou watched as Debbie's hand brushed through the girl's curls.

'When did you get your test back?', asked Debbie.

'Yesterday.', mumbled Ximena.

'Sweetheart', Lou scolded gently. 'That is why you need to talk to us. You worried for a whole day without reason.'

'Yeah', agreed Debbie, bumping her body at Ximena to get her attention. 'Talk to us, because your brilliant brains worry way too much.'

Besides looking sad Ximena now also looked guilty and ashamed as a blush crept up her tearstained face. That was not exactly the desired result, but Lou did not know what to do about it.

Debbie saw an opportunity. 'So, I feel like this is a night where we want to order some food and curl up on the couch', she suggested slyly.

Lou could not believe that Debbie was trying to worm her way out of cooking, again, but could not help but agree when she finally saw a small smile on her daughter's face.

It was only later, after they had completely stuffed themselves with Veselka's varenyky that their daughter finally relaxed. Ximena had been unusually clingy that night, seating herself between her mothers on the couch, needing a reassuring touch every now and then.

'Maybe Rose can help you study for your next test.', offered Debbie as she spread herself out on the couch, draping her legs over Ximena's and putting her feet in Lou's lap.

'Aunt Rose speaks French?', said Ximena surprised.

'She does', smirked Lou, ignoring Debbie's wiggling toes in her lap. 'Hon, I'm not going to rub your feet', she said to Debbie. 'Since I have been the one who has been on her feet the last few days and you have been the one who did not even cook dinner tonight, I think we can all agree that you don't deserve it.'

She turned to Ximena. 'Her French is worth millions,' she continued, trying to dodge Debbie's foot, which she was waving in Lou's face. 'She was the one who convinced Cartier to lend us the Touissant.'

'Big mistake', grinned Ximena as Lou snatched Debbie's feet and started tickling the bottom.

Debbie finally got the message and retreated her feet. 'So, since I fixed dinner, I suggest you should handle the clean-up', proposed Debbie cheekily.

Lou just scoffed.

'How come you find French hard?', she questioned her daughter, ignoring Debbie who was waiting for an answer with raised eyebrows. 'Isn't it similar to Spanish?'

Ximena sighed. 'It is, kind of. I always get through the lessons with ease, so I thought I didn't have to study for the test.', she confessed. 'I guess I was a bit lazy.'

Debbie affectionately kissed her daughter's cheek. 'Glad I am finally rubbing of on you.'

'Yes, great parenting', laughed Lou. 'Next thing, you are gonna help her cheat.'

Debbie nodded. 'Always take the short cut.'

'No Ximena, the morale of the story is that French can come handy and might help you steal a 150 million dollar necklace. So always do your best in school.', amended Lou.

'Now that is great parenting.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have the time, please leave a comment, they make my day.


	8. Ocho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘She knows.’ Debbie seemed to have read her mind.
> 
> Lou sighed.
> 
> Debbie smirked. ‘I thought I was the control freak.’
> 
> Lou lightly slapped her side. ‘I just want her safe.’
> 
> Debbie turned, so she was facing Lou, her eyes were serious. ‘I know, but we also want her to have a normal childhood. Part of that is making silly pictures and going out.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG guys, we are nearing the end of the story, I am almost done with writing chapter 10! I'd really like to continue writing about Lou,Debbie and Ximena, so I am thinking about making a series (as soon as I figured out how that works haha), I am not sure yet about the format of the series, if I will make it chronologically or something, I really don't know. But if you have ideas or requests please share them. <3

‘Mama-Lu?’, came the pleading voice of her daughter and Lou looked up from the pan with pasta sauce, to see her girl with her two best friends.

‘Yes?’, she questioned a little bit wary, because the girls’ expressions seemed too innocent.

‘Well, we were thinking…’, started Ximena.

‘Since we finally finished our midterms’, came Amy’s soft voice.

‘And since we did so well.’, said Cecilia, and Lou had to raise an eyebrow at this, because Cecilia was the only one of the three girls who was not a straight A student.

The girls stayed quiet, nudging each other to continue and Lou got a bit impatient. ‘You finished your midterms and you did well…’, she prompted.

‘Yeah’, grinned Ximena nervously. ‘So, we were wondering if you could take us to your club tonight. As a reward?’   
She clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes. ‘Please?’

Lou looked at the three pairs of hopeful eyes and shook her head in amusement. ‘Clubs don’t really allow seventeen year olds’, she replied.

‘Yes, that is why it is so convenient that you own a club, miss Miller’, replied Cecilia, a perfect mix between bold and polite. Lou had to bite back a smirk, she really liked Cecilia. The girl was bold, daring and carefree, often the complete opposite of her daughter and oddly enough, she turned out to be a good influence on Ximena. Her Ximena, who once in a while just needed to let loose.

Lou glanced over at Debbie, for support. Debbie was flipping through a magazine, pretending not to be interested in the conversation, but her amused smile did not fool Lou.

‘Deb?’, she questioned.

Debbie did not even look up from her magazine. ‘Your club, your call honey.’, she replied.

Lou rolled her eyes and looked back at the three teenagers in front of her. She waved her hand dramatically.

‘Alright then, I’ll take you.’, she smiled.

The girls erupted in happy shrieks and Ximena all but bounced towards Lou.

‘Thank you, thank you, thank you’, she said, hugging Lou excitedly.

The girls retreated up the stairs obviously thrilled and Lou watched them go with a bemused smile.

‘Dinner is ready in fifteen’, she called to their backs, only getting a thumps up in response.

She shook her head and looked over at Debbie. ‘Here I was thinking that my spaghetti Bolognese was a nice enough reward for them finishing their exams.’

Debbie walked over to her and pressed a kiss on her cheek as she grabbed a salad bowl. ‘I’m sure they appreciate that too.’

They finished dinner together, Lou putting the finishing touches to her sauce, while Debbie put together a salad. Lou found herself being distracted from the sauce when Debbie backed her up against the counter and started kissing her.

They were still kissing when the girls came downstairs.

‘You have the coolest moms ever’, Lou heard Cecilia whisper. Debbie broke of the kiss, but still stood against Lou.

Ximena let out a grunt. ‘Don’t encourage their disturbing behavior’, she said. Lou watched as their daughter walked up to them and turned off the stove.

‘Don’t let dinner burn again’, Ximena said, rolling her eyes. Lou grinned guiltily because she had indeed once set of the fire alarm when Debbie had been distracting her.

Lou gently pushed Debbie away and put the pan with pasta on the table. Debbie walked over with the salad as the girls set the table.   
Time for a family dinner.

 

After dinner, Lou and Debbie cleaned the table. They were both amused by the sounds coming from their daughter’s room. Ximena almost never closed the door, because she did not like the feeling of being locked up. Their loft carried sounds far, so most times Lou would put on some music, to give Ximena some privacy. Tonight however, Ximena was playing music herself and there was nothing Lou hated more than different music playing at once. Besides, the conversation from Ximena’s room was innocent enough, the girls were raiding the closet and talking loudly about accessories and make-up.

Debbie grinned at Lou, when the Blondie song ended, and a Bon Jovi song started in their daughter’s room.

‘She is so our daughter.’

Lou smiled smugly. ‘I know.’

 

When the girls finally came out of Ximena’s room, they busied themselves with making pictures against ‘the right backdrop’. Lou watched them from the corner of her eyes and she wanted to warn Ximena not to put pictures of herself on Cecilia’s or Amy’s public Instagram-accounts.

‘She knows.’ Debbie seemed to have read her mind.

Lou sighed.

Debbie smirked. ‘I thought I was the control freak.’

Lou lightly slapped her side. ‘I just want her safe.’

Debbie turned, so she was facing Lou, her eyes were serious. ‘I know, but we also want her to have a normal childhood. Part of that is making silly pictures and going out.’

Lou was not ready to let the subject go. ‘Do you think we should tell them to put on more clothing?’, she asked, eyeing the skin that was showing between Amy’s jeans and her cropped blouse and the short skirt and dress, the other two girls were wearing.

‘We would lose our cool mom status’, shrugged Debbie. ‘also, you’d have more credit if you would put a shirt under your vest every once in a while.’

‘I’m an adult. They are barely seventeen.’, Lou sounded almost whiny.

‘And they are barely dressed.’, sang Debbie. ‘It comes with the age. Don’t tell me you are wearing less clothing now than when you were seventeen?’

Lou just huffed.

Debbie put her arms around Lou’s neck. ‘I love it when you get all protective, mama-bear.’, she whispered, before pulling Lou in for a kiss.

‘Jeez, moms. Again?’, whined Ximena from the other side of the room.

 

Lou knew Debbie was right. Lou knew that Ximena had the right to have a normal childhood and do stupid teenager things. She knew, and yet her heart kept beating in her throat, all the way to the club. She just wanted protect Ximena from anymore angst and pain in her life, since she felt that the girl already had a lifetime supply of those.

She just did not feel comfortable to let her daughter walk into a club, with a lot of men. It just felt like potential for problems. She knew that her club was the best option, since she always made sure that it was safe, but ideally she liked Ximena to just stay home and eat pasta without a change of her ever getting hurt. She knew that she should keep her feelings to herself because Ximena had enough trouble with her sexuality as it was.

Therefor she forced herself to smile when the girls disappeared in the crowd, their hips swaying to the beat of the music.   
She walked over to Fayah, one of the security guards.

‘That’s my daughter’, she pointed over to Ximena.

‘Anyone touches her, you kill them.’

Fayah nodded, an amused smile on her face. ‘Got it boss.’

 

Lou wondered if she should walk over to Ximena to tell them that she would be behind the bar if she needed her but could practically hear Debbie laughing at her overbearing behavior and decided against it.

She walked away and settled behind the bar. She really tried to not to be obvious about keeping an eye on Ximena, but she was not fooling her staff. She ignored their knowing looks and smirks and only when even Ximena caught her gaze and shook her head amused, did she blush.

She regained some of her mystery back from her employees when she slid three beers on the bar and told one of her guys to bring it over to the girls.

She was a cool mom, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have some time please leave a comment, I really appreciate them!


	9. Nueve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ximena took in a shuddering breath, a tear escaping from her eyes.
> 
> ‘Imessedupmama’, she whispered softly, staring at the table top.
> 
> Lou did not know if Ximena meant to say “I messed up” or “I’m messed up”, but she did not like her daughter talking this negatively either way. She put her fingers under Ximena’s chin and lifted it up, so she could look her daughter in her eyes. They stared at each other for a moment.
> 
> ‘I love you’, Lou said fiercely, because her daughter could not be reminded of that fact often enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually one of the first chapters I wrote when I had this fic idea. Hope you guys like it!

When Lou walked into the loft, she had expected to find it empty. She had not expected to find her daughter at the kitchen table, cradling a jar of Nutella. Lou sat herself down across the girl.

‘Everything all right?’, she questioned worriedly, because it was not like her daughter to be inside on her own moping in her pajamas on a weekday.

Ximena sighed dramatically and looked up to her. Lou could clearly see that the girl had cried.

‘I had a fight with Jonah’, started Ximena, looking at Lou with big sad red-rimmed eyes.

Lou was actually surprised to hear that, because Jonah had been a constant factor in Ximena’s life ever since she had started school. He had been her first friend, they had been inseparable. Over the years they had both grown slightly apart as they had found different interests, but he was still a frequent visitor of their loft.

Lou chuckled softly at her daughter’s antics. ‘Best friends fight, my love. You will make up soon.’

‘We’re not, we are not just friends.’, mumbled Ximena, nervously looking at Lou. ‘We are, uhm, more than friends. Have been for a couple of weeks now...’

‘That is okay. We like Jonah.’ Lou forced herself to smile, because really, her seventeen year old daughter was allowed to date. She was almost eighteen for God’s sake.

Ximena took in a shuddering breath, a tear escaping from her eyes.

‘Imessedupmama’, she whispered softly, staring at the table top.

Lou did not know if Ximena meant to say “I messed up” or “I’m messed up”, but she did not like her daughter talking this negatively either way. She put her fingers under Ximena’s chin and lifted it up, so she could look her daughter in her eyes. They stared at each other for a moment.

‘I love you’, Lou said fiercely, because her daughter could not be reminded of that fact often enough.

‘I know.’ Ximena did a brave attempt to smile through the tears.

Lou dropped her hand from Ximena’s face and put it over her daughter’s hand.

She softly squeezed it. ‘Why don’t you tell me what happened?’

With her free hand Ximena wiped her eyes. ‘Ok. But you cannot get mad.’

Lou blinked twice in surprise, bad scenarios already clouding her mind but nevertheless nodded.

Her daughter was looking intently at the jar of Nutella, not daring to make eye contact.

‘We tried to have sex.’, confessed Ximena.

It was quiet for a moment as Lou tried to process the words. Her head seemed have trouble to connect the word sex to her daughter.

‘Tried to?’, questioned Lou, her words sounding harsher than she wanted them to be. Ximena was perfectly allowed to have sex of course, but with her past it just brought up a strong surge of protection from Lou.

Ximena nodded. ‘We thought we were ready. I know him a long time and I really care about him and stuff. All the things mom talked about, you know?’

Lou nodded. She was glad that Debbie had somehow had the right mind to talk about the birds and the bees with their daughter, because it had certainly slipped her mind. She vaguely remembered that Debbie had talked to their daughter, when Ximena had just started living with them. Talking about what sex could mean. How it was supposed to be between two people who cared for each other.

‘I thought, because you know, I had done it before, I would know what to do.’, continued Ximena, still focusing on the Nutella jar. ‘And Jonah has dated Bea before.’

Ximena paused, and Lou patiently gave her time to tell it. Even though, she desperately wanted to know what happened.

‘So, we both knew what we were doing.’, Ximena concluded, not giving Lou time to interrupt. ‘But Jonah, he kept asking these weird questions and he told me to do things… It was just really confusing. And then I completely freaked out like an idiot and I yelled at him.’ Ximena put her face in her hands in despair. ‘I screamed and then he left.’

Lou felt an anger rise in her chest, she was ready to rip this boy’s head off. ‘What kind of questions?’, she asked sharply. ‘What did he want you to do?’

Ximena waved her hands in exasperation. ‘He just kept asking if it was all right, if he could take of my clothes, if he was allowed to touch me… Telling me to slow down.’

Lou felt her heart rate slow down, it seemed that Jonah was allowed to life another day. A tiny part of her brain actually felt sorry for the boy, because he must be confused as well.

 

However, she was focusing on her own daughter now. She softly squeezed Ximena’s hand.

‘Honey, what Jonah did, was asking for consent. It is normal, it is part of the sex.’

Ximena looked at her bewildered. ‘But I had already told him that I wanted to have sex.’,she explained as if Lou had not understood her right.

Lou bit her lip and glanced at the door, willing Debbie to come back, because her girlfriend was so much better at these kinds of conversations. The door stayed closed however, so it seemed Lou had to do it.

‘Yes, but not all the sex is the same’, she explained, to her great annoyance she felt herself blush ever so slightly. ‘Not everyone likes the same thing, so especially if you have sex for the first time it is important to communicate. To make sure the other _likes_ what you are doing. Jonah was just making sure that you liked it.’

Ximena looked at her in earnest and Lou could see that she was struggling to understand.

‘That I liked it?’, she wondered, her brows knitted in confusion. It was actually touching how much Ximena was trusting Lou know. That Ximena dared to be so open with Lou.

‘Yes, every body is different and people like different things. You don’t have to be okay with everything _even_ if you want to have sex with that person.’, she glanced at her daughter seeing if she was still with her. Ximena was listening intently.  ‘for example, some people like it when the other person uses their mouth a lot and other people like it better when it is just hands.’

Ximena broke eye contact, looking down at the table and Lou thought that she had maybe become too graphic with her daughter.

Her daughter sighed softly. ‘Nobody ever asked me anything.’

Lou’s heart broke in million pieces. She grabbed both her daughter’s hands and cupped them between her own.

‘That is because you never had sex.’, she said sadly to the curls hiding her daughter’s face.

Ximena looked up, her mouth opened to protest but Lou beat her to it.

‘No.’, she said firmly. ‘What those men did to you, that was not sex. They used you. They abused you. You must never compare that to sex.’

She knew that Ximena struggled with her past and she wished once more that there was just a magic button she could touch to make that go away. Ximena sighed once again and Lou felt some tears drop down on their hands.

They sat in silence for a long time. Lou thought the conversation was finished.

‘How do you know what you like?’, asked Ximena softly, shyly looking up. ‘That was why I panicked, I didn’t know the answers to his questions.’

Lou was silent for a while, thinking of a right answer.

‘That is why you need to communicate, to find out what you like, and uhm, you can always try yourself how you liked to be touched.’

Ximena gave her a questioning look and Lou raised her eye brows, willing her daughter to understand her. Because apparently, Lou Miller was not capable of saying the word masturbate in front of her daughter.

‘O’, Ximena seemed to understand and was turning scarlet at a rapid speed. ‘Got it’, she mumbled.

Lou nodded satisfied.

 

Ximena stayed silent after that, looking everywhere but at Lou, but she was holding on to Lou’s hands with a firm grip. Lou was going over the conversation once more in her head, thinking of more things she should say.

She opened her mouth to say one more thing, but Ximena stopped her.

‘Please, no more talking.’, she pleaded to Lou. ‘I can’t.’

Lou nodded, because she too could become overwhelmed by too much talking.

Ximena smiled relieved. ‘Can we maybe watch some TV on the couch?’, she questioned timidly.

Now it was Lou’s turn to smile, because watching TV on the couch was Ximena’s way of asking for a cuddle.

‘Sure, you grab the Nutella, and I’ll grab the ice cream.’, said Lou.

‘Ice cream?’

‘Yeah, we can put it in the Nutella jar. Something I learned from aunt Rose.’

 

Debbie found Lou and their daughter on the couch an hour later. Ximena was sitting in Lou’s lap, her head resting on Lou’s shoulder. Lou watched her daughter fondly. Glad that she still fitted in her lap, somehow still wanted to sit there. Her little girl, who was not so little anymore. Had unfortunately never really been little in their presence.

 Debbie was immediately alerted by the look on her girlfriend’s face.

‘Something wrong?’, she questioned, dropping the bags with Chinese take-away on the kitchen table and walking over to her family.

Lou looked warily at their daughter, who seemed asleep.

‘I’ll tell you later’, she responded.

Ximena stirred. ‘Don’t talk behind my back’, she mumbled.

Debbie looked over at Lou and raised one eyebrow.  ‘Seems like you should tell me now…’

‘Nothing is wrong’, Lou replied, trying to keep her tone light. ‘We just had a little talk about sex.’

Debbie sat down on the couch next to Lou and Ximena. She looked between Lou and Ximena, trying to read the situation. The atmosphere was still a little tense and Debbie knew exactly how to fix it.

‘Did mama tell you how to use a condom, because I might need to show you again, you know, since she doesn’t have much experience.’

This had the desired effect. Ximena sat up straight in horror, pushing Debbie with her foot.

‘O my god, mom, stop’, she said embarrassed.  
Debbie grinned, she loved it when her daughter behaved like a regular teenager. Lou caught on to Debbie’s plan and decided to help her tease their daughter a bit more.

‘Well, Deb, I’ve never heard any complains when –’, she started but Ximena stopped her.

‘I can’t hear you’, their daughter said in a sing-song voice, her fingers in her ears. She was humming loudly, blocking the sounds her mothers could make.

Debbie saw how Lou looked a bit more relieved when Ximena started being loud again. She caught her gaze and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Lou usually is not shy about sex but I feel like with Ximena it is her little girl and she is so fiercely protective that she gets a little awkward talking about it, let me know if you agree or found that Lou would not blush about it.
> 
> Comments and kudos make my day <3


	10. Diez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'We visited Mrs. Harding', said Tammy with a smirk.  
> Ximena looked up with a sharp jerk of her head. 'That's the lady my mom used to work for.', she said a little breathless.  
> Nineball chuckled. 'We know.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I write much slower when I'm not procrastinating other things like uni.  
> Anyway, this is the first time I actually finished a fanfic and I realize now that it is probably because it is really hard to wrap a story up in a not-cheesy way. I did not succeed and this is the cheesiest chapter I wrote. Sorry, not sorry! Ximena deserves it.

‘Are you familiar with the term extra?’, asked Tammy, who was perched on the table, looking amused by all the bustling around her. ‘Because this might be it.’

‘Glad you are extending your vocabulary.’, said Lou dryly, walking over with a pile of plates. ‘Look who is one of the cool moms now.’

 ‘I think getting Ximena a Rose Weill dress, instapics with the Daphne Kluger and a limo with ConCon -the famous vlogger-as the driver for her prom, already established the fact that Lou and Debbie are completely extra when it comes to Ximena.’, noted Nineball.

‘Hush, I think it’s sweet’, said Rose affectionately, looking at the decorated loft. Banners of Boston University were hanging down from the railing and there were garlands decorating the loft. Debbie and Lou were both wearing red, in honor of the Boston University and there was a huge cake that read “Doctor Ximena Ocean”.

 ‘She is here in three minutes.’ Debbie walked in, waving her phone. ‘Cecilia texted, they’re on their way.’ With the whole group being in their loft and Debbie being so focused, Lou was reminded of their Met-heist. In all fairness, the surprise party for Ximena leaving for college was probably as important to her wife as stealing the Touissant necklace had been.

 ‘Does “they” include the boyfriend?’, asked Daphne wiggling her eyebrows.

 Debbie smiled fondly. ‘Yes, Jonah is coming as well.’

‘Ximena would be my mom’s dream daughter.’, noted Amita longingly. ‘Getting into pre-medical school and also having a man in her life at only eighteen…’

‘Yeah well, she is our dream daughter.’, said Debbie. ‘And Isaac was an asshole, Amita. Be glad you’re single again.’

‘We certainly are’, muttered Constance.

‘Guys, I think I hear a car.’, said Rose suddenly, making everyone scramble for hiding places.

 

The surprise went very smoothly and the atmosphere in the loft was very festive. Soon the whole group had dispersed in smaller groups. Daphne was boring the hell out of Tammy, while Lou and Ximena were getting crushed in a pool battle against Nineball and Veronica, Constance was entertaining Jonah, Amy and Cecilia with some card tricks and the rest of the adults were just drinking and talking.

A few hours later Debbie was just rinsing out the wine glasses real quick before returning to the party, preventing the red wine from staining the crystal, because apparently that was the kind of person she was now, when she heard someone walk into the kitchen. She turned around and saw Ximena.

‘Hi’, she greeted, drying her hands. ‘Are you not enjoying the party?’, she questioned worriedly, because a surprise party might not have been Ximena’s thing. They had kept it small though, with only Cecilia, Amy, Jonah and their heist family.

‘I am’, Ximena smiled. ‘I just wanted to be with you guys for a while if that’s okay.’

‘That’s always okay’, smiled Lou, pulling her head out from the fridge. She was also hiding from the party under the pretense of checking up on the booze. ‘Where did you leave Jonah?’

Amy being a legal adult had not made her parents less strict and she had gone home a few hours before to make curfew. Cecilia had also already left the party, having to catch an early plane to Paris in the morning but Jonah was still there.

‘Daphne is telling him about all the romantic gestures she received in her movies. To inspire him, you know.’

‘Oh dear’, grinned Lou. ‘We gotta save him soon, otherwise you are gonna wake up with Jonah on a white horse riding into your dorm or something.’

Debbie noticed how Ximena did not respond to Lou’s joke. ‘Are you gonna miss him?’, she questioned.

Ximena pressed her lips together. ‘Yeah I suppose I will.’, she admitted. She was rocking back and forth in the way that Debbie recognized that she wanted to tell something but did not know how.

‘I am going to miss you too.’, she mumbled, still shuffling nervously. She pulled at her sleeve and looked at the ground.

‘I still don’t understand why you kept me.’, she confessed, finally looking up to face her moms. ‘but I am so glad that you saved me. I think I would be dead if it weren’t for you.’

This proved to be too much for Debbie and she tugged Ximena in for a hug.

‘Don’t say that.’, she said, trying to sound strict but emotion still heavy on her voice. There was too much truth in that statement. Because she too remembered the dark days when Ximena was spiraling down. That horrible night in the hospital would never leave her mind.

Lou hugged Ximena from the other side, wrapping the young woman between both her moms.

‘You are the best thing that happened to us, kid.’, said Lou, placing a kiss on Ximena’s curls.

‘That was really cute.’

Debbie looked up to see Constance in the door opening watching the scene with a bowl of popcorn in her hand. This was particularly weird because Debbie was fairly sure that they had not served popcorn at the party.

‘Yeah it was’, agreed Tammy, appearing behind the Asian woman.

‘Uhm, what are you doing here?’, questioned Lou.  

‘Looking for you three, it is your party remember?’, reminded Constance. ‘You are horrible hosts.’

‘Says the woman who is at our house _every_ weekend’, replied Lou. ‘We’ll come soon, we are just going to give Ximena our gift now.’

 ‘Gift?’, questioned Ximena with a sparkle in her eyes.

 ‘It is barely a gift though’, said Tammy. ‘She earned it herself.’

 Lou turned around and with a threatening gesture of her hand send Tammy and Constance away.

 ‘What does she mean?’, asked Ximena intrigued, when it was just the three of them again.

 Debbie smiled at Ximena and tucked a hair behind her ear.

 ‘Remember when we met you and remember how you tried to run off with a bag of money?’, questioned Debbie.

 Ximena nodded slowly, not sure where this was going.

 ‘Since we are now sure that you are not going to run off forever, we figured we should give you the money.’, finished Lou.

 ‘Tammy set up a bank account.’ Debbie handed Ximena an envelope.

 ‘I… I don’t know what to say’, stammered Ximena when she looked at the amount mentioned at the bottom of the letter. ‘This is way more than was in the bag.’

 Lou laughed. ‘Yeah, your mom got bored and did some more jobs.’

 

 

_One year later…_

 

Lou could not keep her eyes of Ximena across from her at the table. Their daughter was talking animatedly to Debbie’s back as her wife was getting three beers from the fridge. Lou was not really listening to the conversation, she was distracted by Ximena’s demeanor. There seemed something new about her. She could not quite put her finger on it, but something had changed.

Debbie handed her the beer bottles and Lou had to take her eyes of Ximena as she took the caps of the bottles with her lighter.

Only when she watched Ximena take a swig from her beer could she put words to the change. Ximena had matured. Her summer internship in Honduras had not only brought their daughter back with a tan and tons of stories, but also with a newfound confidence.  
Lou sipped her beer to hide her proud smile, knowing that Debbie would tease her about turning soft if she saw it.

‘Did you do some medical things at the clinic?’, asked Lou, trying to catch up with the conversation. ‘Tammy told us that she saw you giving out some shots.’

Debbie huffed. ‘I still can’t believe that you allowed Tammy to visit you but not us.’, she said, crossing her arms in annoyance.

Ximena just laughed at her mother’s antics. ‘Tammy did not visit me, she just happened to be there on holiday. And I’ve hardly seen her either, I was just so busy.’

‘Busy with…’, prompted Lou, trying to steer the conversation back to her question.

‘Busy with the clinic.’, said Ximena, drowning her beer with the skill of a college student. Lou watched both proud and saddened by the fact that their daughter was growing up so fast.

‘I did some basic medical things, like helping with shots and putting on bandages but it was not really a medical internship, I helped more with the planning and stuff, I did some translating as well because some of the other students greatly overestimated their Spanish skills. There was so much to do, when Tammy visited I didn’t even have time to have dinner, we only lunched together, and I didn’t see Nineball at all.’

 Lou smirked as she realized that Tammy had exaggerated her visit with Ximena to them just to make Debbie jealous

Debbie blew out some air and smiled. ‘Sounds horrible.’

 ‘Be glad you weren’t there then.’, shot Ximena back, rolling the beer bottle between her fingers.

 ‘Well, I’m sorry for missing you and I’m sorry for being such a doting and loving mother’, exclaimed Debbie dramatically, petting Ximena’s hair.

 Ximena dodged Debbie’s hands which were just groping at her to annoy her and smiled. ‘I’m gonna stay here for the next two weeks until I have to go back to uni, okay?’, she offered.

‘Two weeks after a whole year of absence’, whined Debbie, but she was smiling.

 Ximena looked over at Lou. ‘Is she okay?’, she questioned, nodding at Debbie.

Lou swigged from her beer. ‘She may or may not have drunken a whole bottle of rosé this afternoon, so she did not have to pick you up from the airport.’, confessed Lou.

‘So much for missing me,’ joked Ximena, putting her hand on her heart like she had been hurt.

Debbie giggled. ‘I just don’t like airport traffic.’

 

That evening, just when they started a game of poker for old time’s sake, the front door opened and Tammy and Nineball walked in hand in hand.

‘What are you doing here?’, questioned Lou a bit harshly, because she had been looking forward to a night with just the three of them.

‘Sorry, sorry’, said Tammy, holding her hands up. ‘We just wanted to give you your gifts from our trip and we didn’t know how long Ximena would still be in New York.’

‘Don’t remind us’, sighed Debbie dramatically. ‘What did you get?’

‘Before we flew to Honduras, we had a layover in San Diego’, said Nineball. ‘You should raise’, she told Ximena after glancing at the cards in the girl’s hand.

‘What did you do in San Diego?’, questioned Ximena as she threw a few more chips on the table.

‘We went to visit Sunside Home for the Elderly.’, said Tammy.

Three pairs of eyes looked up from the game.

‘Now why would you do that?’, asked Debbie baffled.

‘We visited Mrs. Harding’, said Tammy with a smirk.

Ximena looked up with a sharp jerk of her head. ‘That’s the lady my mom used to work for.’, she said a little breathless.

Nineball chuckled. ‘We know.’

‘I never met her though.’, said Ximena.

‘We know.’, came Nineball’s low reply again.

‘Your mom used to talk to her about you’, said Tammy. ‘Mrs. Harding has severe dementia now and is 97 so she did not remember much, but she did give us this.’

With a smile Tammy produced a very small photobook. ‘It is only five pictures’, she said with a hint of regret.

Debbie snatched the book out of Tammy’s hand.

‘No way’, she said with awe. Lou stood up to look over Debbie’s shoulder as she opened the book. She could not believe that after years they were finally going to see some childhood pictures of Ximena and yet it was only logical that Tammy had worked this miracle.

Lou could her Tammy’s voice in the background talking about Mrs. Harding and how sorry she had been to know that Mariana Mares had passed but she was hardly listening. Her eyes were glued to the photos in the book. The tiny girl who looked so much like their Ximena was growing up before their eyes in every picture. It seemed like the photos were made on Ximena’s birthday as the girl was sitting behind a cake on all except one, where she was standing in front of a bright teal door with a party hat on her curly hair.

‘I can’t believe this’, said Debbie softly. ‘How did you get these?’

‘Easy’, grinned Nineball. ‘Tammy here is pretty good at obtaining things and I am not so bad at looking people up.’

Lou shook her head at Nineball’s smugness.

‘We got you a present as well’, said Tammy to Ximena, who had been quietly looking at the upside-down photo album at the other side of the table.

 She handed Ximena a silver picture frame that opened like a book and contained two photos.

At the right side there was a photo of Ximena with Lou and Debbie, taken last year at her going to college party and at the left side there was a picture of her birth mom holding a toddler on her hip.

Tears welled up in Ximena’s eyes as she traced her mom’s face with her finger. She had immediately recognized her mom, yet she was different than she remembered. She looked younger than she remembered. She was closer in age to her mom than to the toddler in the picture.

A tear escaped from her eyes as she looked from the grinning toothless toddler in the left pic to the grinning adult Ximena in the other pic. She doubted that there would ever be a day that the ache in her heart would completely disappear when she thought about Mariana Mares, but she was sure of one thing.

‘I am so lucky to have three amazing moms’, she said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me through this story. As I mentioned before this is the first time I finished a fanfic and all the feedback most definitely helped. Thank you all for all your comments, the feedback you gave was amazing and inspiring.   
> I'm going to keep writing in this AU, so if you are interested in more Ximena & Lou and Debbie, there will be more :)
> 
> As I mentioned there is a darker period, which I'm going to write about and I also have some lighter fluffier ideas in my head. Feel free to leave some requests in the comments as well, I'd like to improve my writing and I think requests are a huge help to get me out of my comfort zone. 
> 
> Hope to see you soon. <3


End file.
